Living with Aspergers Syndrome

I tend to browse through other blogs, I read a great blog the other night Titled My baby will make you uncomfortable and I might laugh. This blog brought back some memories for me. My middle son was exactly the same. he would give strangers and even family members a blank look. Taking his photo was a nightmare he would never smile. He was a chatty chap with family members but you could not get a word out of him around strangers. He would cling to me or hide behind me if strangers were around.Truth be known he rarely smiles even now. In his early years I often wondered what made him tick, as this behavior continued through to playgroup I decided it was time to get some professional advice

After talking to the Doctor he agreed there may be something going on he first sugested Autism. I was then refered to a child psychologist who gave me the following checklist and asked if my son showed any of the following behaviors.

• Social awkwardness / no friends
• Obsessions / focused on one subject
• Lack of eye contact
• Sensitivity to noise / touch / feel of clothing
• Slow to begin talking
• Odd speech / extreme logic / very proper speech
• Anger / aggression / hitting others
• Craves Routine
• Appears lost / in own world
• Flapping hands
• Communication problems or motor skills problems
• Stimming behavior

Well I went through this list and checked of the following behaviours, Social awkwardness,  Slow to begin talking, very proper speech, Craves ROUTINE!, Appears lost / in own world, motor skills problems. There were also things not on the list Migraine headaches, unable to handle changes in routines, thought most people hated him, and clumsyness, some of which was put down to poor vision.

After passing all this information back to the therapist she spent a day with him and ran him through a few tests and came back to me with the diagnosis of Mild Aspergers Syndrome. I was stunned as all I knew of this was it was akin to Autism. Well I just had to know more, so after some serious research and chats with the psychologist we went to an occupational therapist who worked on refining his motor skills, now they were not off by much and after 6 months he was equal to his peers with his motor skills.

While all that was happening, at home we worked on a fairly strict routine and tried to make any changes known well in advance. Weeks before school started we had him up early and went through what would be his morning routine. This helped a lot when it was time for him to go to school. We discussed school at length and contacted the school prior to find out their routine and incorporated it into family life. This may seem extreme but I must say it made the transition to school a whole lot easier. Letting the school know of his problem made it easier on the school and by keeping them informed we were able to keep him in main stream schooling.

He was fixated on the military, anything to do with the Army, Navy or Airforce worked great, we got a lot of positive reinforcement from a packet of soldiers. When he completed tasks on his own we would reward him with a much wanted soldier, it was inexpensive and worked great. In no time he could be given a task and could go and do it.

As time went on he became more flexible. He could accept slight changes to his routine, the migraines lessened and he was doing well at school. He loved to play practical jokes on all of us this gave him great joy and he would laugh at our demise. We grew to expect the unexpected from him. He was extremely literal and locgical at times so returning the prank did not go down well. Most times he took it personally not as the joke it was intended.

He has grown a lot over the years, as kids do, but I’m not talking about his size. I’m talking about his self esteem and his ability to  accept change in his routine. Mostly he takes it in his stride. Sometimes there is an issue but talking it out and explaining the situation usually solves that problem. He has grown into a wonderful young man who can tell a great joke but dont play a joke on him that still doesnt go down too well. In general he has a few close friends and is now dating. He still tends to take things personally but he can function on his own on a day to day basis. He can’t wait to get his first job and is a very responsible young man.

On his last visit to the child psychologist she spent some time with him and came back and said he has developed extremely well. She said there may be some issues along they way but over all he will cope really well in the adult world. I tend to agree.

Aspergers sounds scary but really its not that bad, its not all doom and gloom. Some simple changes that don’t really effect the family can make a world of difference to a child with this. Some things can be a challenge but with my son the need to get everything right was very powerful. We worked with that need, gave him the routine that he needed and went step by step from there.

Now dont get me wrong it did have challenges, take sport, now that could be called off for bad weather and of course came the end of the season. Both were trying times for him and us but with love and guidance and some modifications to his routine he got through it, as did the rest of us.