Parties; Booby Traps of The human kind

With the holiday season fast approaching you have the inevitable invitations to parties there are a few people you want to stear clear of. I like to call them booby traps of the human kind.

Now when i go to parties i like to have an escape plan, you just never know when you want to get out of there, one is sneak off to the bathroom and set your phone alarm for 15 minutes time, get back out and mingle answer the fake call make your excuses and leave.

Now if its a big party you could just sneak out, but you will be asked questions as to where you got to, a good answer is “oh i was passed out in the yard when I came to I went home” this implies you had a good time. Now Onto the booby traps.

Old One Night Stand 

You get comfortable in your little corner  then someone familiar walks by, your first thought is Don’t you know that girl/guy from somewhere? Maybe you shouldn’t have had those last shots. That’s the woman/man you accidentally slept with last night. And it looks like she/he has put on 50 pounds overnight. Hopefully, she/he was too drunk to remember who you are but not drunk enough to claim date rape.

Dumped Guy  

According to this guy, all women are the devil, and boobs are just horns that are camouflaged. When he calls his ex a “crazy psycho bitch” he is really saying “that crazy psycho bitch broke my heart.” He will think of how sweet her sleeping face was, while he’s trying to sleep with you.

The Tweetaholic

With twitter being the super fast way to get things out there other than one on one conversation, rest assured everything you say will be tweeted by the tweetaholic. what you say in confidence will be tweeted faster than lightning because they have twitter on their phone.

The Ex-alcoholic (week 5)

Its bad party etiquette to try to convince everybody that sobering up is the smart way to go. Especially if everybody is already drunk! I realise this is a big achievment for them but a A party is not the place to bring up Alcoholics Anonymous. You can’t convince people drinking is bad for them while they’re doing shots. Come back the next day and talk to us while we have the morning after migraine. We might listen to reason while feeling vulnerable.

The Homophobe

There are more than likely going to be alternative lifestylists at the party. If you’re uncomfortable with that, then guess what…no one cares. The homophobe is the guy that cant wait to remind us that Bruce is girly. Like we didnt know!! Really! most people are tired of hearing how you hope he doesn’t try to hit on you. There are people who are different then you are, and those differences aren’t all about you. You see that girl over there? She likes men too and she’s not trying to sleep with you either. So Grow up.

So there you have it, the main Human booby traps you will find at a party.  One thing to remember for any party you go to and that is take a taxi dont drive, stay safe. Good luck avoiding the Booby Traps.

The Misunderstood House Spider

If there’s one ceature with a bad rap with the human world, it’s the spider. Generally it is reclusive and non-threatening to people, spiders eat all the bugs that annoy us humans (mosquitoes, flies, roaches) while occupying the empty crevices of human shelter, And yet their very presence makes the average person go after these creatures with a fury. So sad is the world of the Misunderstood Spider: